Hard conversations & tough decisions
When did you last have a really hard conversation with someone at work? One that you’d rather have avoided, but that you knew was necessary - not to criticise or because you were forced to, but because you knew that on the other side of that painful exchange was a better result.
What was the last tough decision you made, that some people justifiably didn’t like, but that you committed to and delivered?
If you’re struggling to remember, you’re not alone. One of the most common signs of an underperforming culture is chronic avoidance of difficult conversations. In an ideal world, we’d make grand plans that we execute to perfection with no surprises and hire people who all fit smoothly into our group, are excellent at what they do and are so committed, humble and willing to learn that they evolve at the same rate our companies do.
In the real world, where some of us spend most of our time, it never quite works out like this. Building a genuinely successful team requires making decisions that hurt and engaging in challenging conversations with our people. This friction is necessary. A high performance culture isn’t one where everyone agrees. It’s one where people passionately disagree - a natural consequence of real commitment - but still find a solution and support the decision that’s made.
Acas, the UK Government-backed body focused on making working life better, reported last year that workplace conflict is actually at record levels, with 44% of workers experiencing disputes in the past 12 months. It’s the wrong kind of conflict, though, with personal disagreements, relationship issues and bullying, harassment or discrimination claims making up more than half of the incidents reported. What we really need is constructive conflict - debate and discussion about how goals should be achieved and challenges overcome.
Jeff Bezos once said, “any high-performing organisation has to have mechanisms and a culture that support truth-telling. Truths often don’t want to be heard. Important truths can be uncomfortable, awkward, exhausting and challenging.” Hard conversations and tough decisions build great companies, but hard conversations are hard to have and tough decisions are tough to make, so our tendency is to delay them. We avoid holding people accountable or giving them feedback that might be difficult to take, even though we know we should. We ignore the internal and external warning signs because it’s easier than making the changes required.
Avoiding them doesn’t make them go away. Instead, standards slip, culture erodes and the things we could have dealt with years ago come back and put us out of business. It’s better to kill the monster while it’s little than to let it grow and devour you whole. Avoidance doesn’t prevent problems, but instead hides them until they become existential threats.
I don’t have an easy solution for you. It’s hard. But robust debate, disagreement and challenge are essential elements of a culture that really drives results. If there’s a conversation you’ve been putting off or a decision you’ve been delaying, make this week the week you tackle it. Next week will be much brighter if you do.
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